Down the rabbit hole.

Think I was overreacting in that last post? Thanks HAL!

John Cassavettes: "This is the dumbest business I've ever seen in my life."

"Cassavetes stares at his soft drink for a moment as he calmly considers his answer. “People used to love to call me a maverick because I had a big mouth and I’d say, ‘That bum!’ or something like that when I was young. Mainly because I believed it and I didn’t know there was anybody’s pain connected to the business. I was so young, I didn’t feel any pain. I just thought, ‘Why don’t they do some exciting, venturesome things? Why are they just sitting there, doing these dull pictures that have already been done many, many times and calling them exciting? That’s a lie. They’re not exciting. Exciting is an experiment.’

“You know, in this business, it’s all jealousy. I mean, this is the dumbest business I’ve ever seen in my life. If somebody gets married, they say, ‘It’ll never work.’ If somebody gets divorced, they say, ‘Good. I’ll give you my lawyer.’ If somebody loses a job, everyone will call him—to gloat. They’ll discuss it, they’ll be happy, they’ll have parties. I don’t understand how people who see each other all the time, and are friends, can be so happy about each other’s demise.

“I think people—studio executives and filmmakers—should hate each other openly and save a lot of trouble."

Leggo my Ego

The Hollywood Juicer in this recent post inspired me to kick back into this blog with a subject that's weighing heavily lately. As the whole world knows, recently Christian Bale's rants on the set of Terminator Salvation (on which some VFX guys now on 2012 worked), were made public. I wholeheartedly agree with Taylor and his sentiment that Actors are a different breed. They can easily get more fluffed than a peacock in heat because of a rancid cocktail of indispendibility and insecurity. As Taylor says, they really are the only piece of the puzzle that cannot be replaced, the only thing that is undeniably locked into a film once it starts. Everyone treats them like glass because they have massive bargaining power. You, the PA, knocked on their door and woke them up. They can jepoardize the whole shoot if they leave and it may just be your fault. The thought is absolutely terrifying when you're on the bottom.

This is method that Hollywood uses to get you down. Fear. Absolute, gut-churning, psychotherapy-inducing, become-a-chain-smoker fear. Actors are just one part of the psychotic whole. They're divas, but they're just one department. What if you're dealing with the ones in charge? What if the guy you work for runs the show and everyone else's show? What if your boss is an agent, or a producer, or an executive? Life as a low-level (and I'm talking even lower than assistant) assistant is riddled with hazing purposefully intended to break you. I once had a boss who sat across from me and expressed her crushing disappointment at how I ended requests on the phone with a question ("Could you please check if Mr. Jacobs is available?") instead of a statement, ("We need to see Mr. Jacobs tomorrow.") There are very specific things you CAN and CAN'T do. Like Bale says, you don't walk into the shot, and like Tayor reiterates, the DP could not talk back and rightly shut up.

This city, maybe not this industry but at least this city, is built on that kind of social boundary. You CAN'T talk to this person, you CAN'T do this job, you CAN'T walk into this room, it's all can't can't can't. It's like foot binding. Before you know it you can't get anywhere and every step is painful. Most of the time, these "can't"s are absolute bullshit, things like keeping your head down when this person is in the room, or never saying "no" to this other person, or that you have to wipe the dust from his desk because he "can't". Most of the "can't" are absolutely bogus. They're plants by people to make their insecure, mundane lives more livable, as they get a little power from following fake rules and yelling at others for breaking them. Most of them mean nothing but should you question them, you're just looking for a can of whoopass. I was once repeatedly chastised for binding scripts before counting pages, when my boss told me to count the pages before binding the scripts.

I'm really bad at dealing with this kind of crap. I don't see why things have to be the way they are. Most of the time, the limits are there simply because they've always been there. It's true, as Taylor says, when you're in that situation it's very hard to rebel because, well, if everyone is against you how will you keep working? I came from indie production in New York City and on the east coast, there's a special thing called PERSPECTIVE. The coffee runs out, but it's nothing compared to the homeless guy trying to weasel onto the set. The producer may be worth millions, but it's doubtful he'll get his own trailer because he knows there's no space. But here, reality doesn't apply. No matter how low-budget you are, you HAVE to have a minimum of two trailers. End of story. If people found out your Camry was the green room your actor would walk off. Never mind that the money that would've been spent on a trailer would go to people's salaries. People are carried by a very strong tradition of hubris and abuse. The theory is "That's how it is and that's how it'll always be." Those that at first think otherwise start to embrace that theory, and before long they add, "and that's how I like it." and by then they're long gone, never to return.

Once you like the way it is, that's when you're officially a hollywood douchebag.

I have trouble playing this game. I don't want to devalue myself or the people around me. What kind of a life is being surrounded by yes men? I don't want to grant someone that misery. For people that like that delusional way, I don't know how much I can respect that. A good producer would be honored to have someone real beside him, not an empty shell with a bobblehead. My ideal is to treat others, no matter their position, as my equals. They're to be respected for their job and their work; this isn't serfdom here. All of us little people do silly tasks now and again, but if I have to pluck all the green M+M's out of a bowl, it's only for the paycheck. I shouldn't do it to further my career because a career brought on my sifting through M+M's is not one that I want. We shouldn't fear getting fired over post-it note colors, or accept to fill a bathtub with Evian to get a script passed on, and I make coffee as a PA because it's part of the job and coffee makes people (including me) happy. That's a reason to keep the pot full, but if it's so inexplicably important that that pot CAN'T be empty, and following this dumb CAN'T rule just because it's a rule is the way to climb the ladder, I'm very sorry at the quality of work that is waiting on those upper rungs.

I want to play the game, but on my terms. It doesn't seem like a lot to ask but... maybe it is.


In other news:

Kims Video has lost. Just like Indie 103.1. What does this future hold? If theaters start shutting down I may just give up on life.

Also, Battlestar Galactica is getting too close to current events for comfort.

Also, I used to be a funny person.

50 on 50

A little comic gem coming from Ray Richmond at Past Deadline:

"In preparation for turning age 50 on Friday (10/19), I share the following 50 things taught me by Hollywood:

1. When the going gets tough, the tough get a lawyer.
2. If you're an actor who isn't lying about his age, you're probably unemployed.
3. Biggest Lie in Showbiz: "I haven't had any work done."
4. 2nd Biggest Lie: "It's not about the money."
5. 3rd Biggest Lie: "It's an honor just to be nominated."
6. 4th Biggest Lie: "We'll call you when we're staffing up."
7. 5th Biggest Lie: "I would never do that to a friend."
8. Seating is always limited.
9. They aren't laughing with you but at you.
10. 40 is the old 40.
11. People who say they watch no TV watch the most.
12. The most sexually-charged workplaces on Earth are hospitals and law offices.
13. Sex sells. Money talks. Religion divides. And everybody loves Pixar.
14. A lot of people believe that Oprah Winfrey is God, seemingly including Oprah.
15. But it's Jerry Bruckheimer who rules the world, of course.
16. Overrated: Conan O'Brien, Rachael Ray, "Grey's Anatomy," the 18-49 Demographic, TiVo
17. Underrated: Rainn Wilson, Keith Olbermann, "Rescue Me," Susie Essman, TV Downloads
18. It's not what you know, it's whose ass you have to kiss.
19. You're only as popular as your job. Lose it and watch your "friends" disappear.
20. An agent, however, is a true friend who will stick by you always.
21. All Ben Stiller comedies are exactly the same.
22. Writers deserve far more credit than they ever get.
23. Reality TV isn't.
24. When someone leaves a job to "spend more time with my family" or "explore other opportunities," they've been fired.
25. If they leave to take a post with an Internet start-up, they soon WILL be fired.
26. If you're a celebrity, it's far easier to adopt kids from Africa.
27. People who make a lousy movie or TV show are always the last to know.
28. Being rich means never having to say you're sorry.
29. The heftier the marketing/promo budget, the less interest I have in seeing it.
30. Most big hits happen by accident.
31. Having one hit will buy a producer four flops.
32. If you're British, your chances of winning a Golden Globe increase tenfold.
33. Anything worth creating is worth stealing.
34. If you're an actress on a TV series, you're expected never to eat again.
35. Great acting can't save a bad script, but bad acting can undo a great one.
36. There's far more quality to be found on television than at the movies.
37. If you want your book to sell, be sure it has a character named "Harry" or "Potter" (or both).
38. If you crave respect, try dying.
39. Critics care far less about enlightening consumers than they do impressing other critics.
40. It's all right to make fun of white guys but nobody else.
41. Michael Jackson is a white guy.
42. People can be made to say and do (and sign) anything if there's a camera nearby.
43. The cost of free speech keeps rising.
44. Multiplex Law #1: If you attend a slasher film, at least one mother will have brought along her baby.
45. Multiplex Law #2: The person sitting behind you always has Restless Leg Syndrome.
46. Multiplex Law #3: And ADD.
47. Multiplex Law #4: And just ate a massive bean burrito.
48. Multiplex Law #5: Popcorn tastes much better in the dark.
49. Hollywood thinks people care far more about its inner workings than they actually do.
50. Confessing to being 50 is truly idiotic."